April 1, 2018
Following the resignation of John Dowd, President Trump’s lead lawyer for the Special Counsel investigation, the White House announced that actor Joe Pesci will assume the role. Sources say the President was particularly impressed by the actor’s work in the 1992 courtroom drama, “My Cousin Vinny.”
The Gazette spotted Mr. Pesci dining with his friends in the Capital Restaurant on Broadway last night. The following is an excerpt from the conversation that ensued:
JP: So I go, “What the f*ck? Sure, I’ll be your f*cking lawyer, Mr. President!”
IG: You’re really funny.
JP: What do you mean I’m funny?
IG: It’s funny. You know, your, uh… your story, it’s funny. You’re a funny guy.
JP: You mean the way I talk? What?
IG: It’s just… you know… you… it’s… you’re just funny. It’s… funny… you know, the way you tell the story and everything.
JP: Funny how? I mean what’s funny about it?
IG: Ju… just… you know, you’re… you’re funny.
JP: You mean . . . let me understand this, ‘cause I dunno, maybe it’s me, I’m a little f*cked up maybe. But I’m funny how? I mean, funny like I’m a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I’m here to f*ckin’ amuse you? What do you mean, funny? Funny how? How’m I funny?
IG: …Just, you know, how you tell the story. What?
JP: No. No. I don’t know. You said it. How do I know? You said I’m funny. How the f*ck am I funny? What the f*ck is so funny about me? Tell me! Tell me what’s funny!
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A complete transcript will be available to premium subscribers as soon as our paywall is built, however we are still awaiting the funding from Mexico.