Yield

May 3, 2020

A Gazette Editorial

Ever see the signs advising drivers to yield to pedestrians in a crosswalk? Or the ones warning smokers not to fume within x feet of a building entrance? Or the one on NYC trash baskets stating no household garbage? How about the ones ordering parks goers to leave after sunset? Different color garbage cans for different types of waste?

There are no signs posted for it, but how about taking up two spots when you park? What about picking up after your dog? Or keeping the noise down late at night? What about those notices in the subway to stay away from the platform edge? Or no fishing in the stretch of beach where people swim?

We could go on. But what all of these examples have in common is they limit somebody’s freedom to do something that would be harmful or inconvenient to many others. Of course one can make a completely idiotic argument about your freedom to not wear a mask, to sneeze wherever you darn please, to bunch together within droplet range, etc during the worst pandemic the world has seen in a hundred years because it’s a Deep State plot to persecute Jesus Trump, Our Savior. You could even arm yourself with a semi-auto rifle and take up a position above state legislators from which you could effortlessly murder them all in seconds – not to intimidate them of course, but just to celebrate your freedom under the 2A.

But if you’re that guy – the one hogging two parking spots, not picking up after your dog, completely filling the corner basket with your 30 gallon sack of household garbage, blowing your Marlboro red smoke at everyone, casting your barbed fish hook amidst the swimmers at Jones Beach, honking at pedestrians in the crosswalk – admit it: you’re a selfish prick. An asshole. A person who secretly longs for the collapse of society because you are completely incapable of functioning at the level of civilization.

In short, you’re a Trumpist. And every time you strut down Broadway, defiantly maskless, you announce to the world that you’re an insufferable jerk. MAGA, baby. We hope the COVID-19 hoax doesn’t kill you, but if it does, nobody will miss you.

Photos: the last one.